


the roof was pretty windy and he didn't say a word

by breakng



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: 12 am ramblings of mine, Cute Date, Drug Abuse (mentioned), M/M, Roof top, enjoy :), i don't even know the point of this, i'm so freaking tired, it got angsty near the end, protect philip, sad!philip, soft!lukas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:10:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8494735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakng/pseuds/breakng
Summary: i told him that i loved him, i'm not sure if he heard. the roof was pretty windy and he didn't say a word.





	

**Author's Note:**

> yes, this i got the inspiration from end of the day and yes, it's 12 am as and yes, i'm half asleep

Lukas climbs the service ladder to the roof unsure, he didn't know how the night would play out but he did know that he needs to get these words off of his chest. Strapped to his shoulder is a medium sized basket with a blanket, drinks, and some food inside, all the makings of a perfect date. Lukas sets up the blanket and waits patiently for his guest to arrive, nearly 20 minutes passed before he hears the tell-tale clank of feet on a ladder.

"A picnic? That's why you called me here? You do know it's like 9 at night right, _and_ a Saturday." Philip's voice carries over to where Lukas is sitting. Anyone listening could clearly hear the annoyance in his voice, but it takes someone like Lukas who is well versed in Philip's language to hear the affection too. Almost as if to confirm everything he’s thinking, Philip pulls his phone out and snaps a picture, he says he only does this when something is really special and he wants it to live forever.

“Did I interrupt anything important?”

“As a matter of fact, you did. I was just thinking about how I have the best boyfriend in the world and then, _ding,_ out of nowhere he texts me, he’s like some sort of mind reader or something.” Philip pulls Lukas’ chin towards him and gives him a quick peck before turning his attention to the food spread before him.

```

Hours passed and Philip and Lukas are still sitting on the roof, there is only a few differences; the food is gone, Philip’s head is now in resting in Lukas’ lap, and the temperature must've dropped at least 20 degrees, thanks to the wind. Instead of giving up and calling it quits, Lukas and Philip pull the blanket over them and watch the stars in complete silence.

10 minutes come and go, with Lukas internally struggling to say everything he had planned to. Already, he’s talked himself in and out of it no less than 100 times and he still isn’t sure whether or not he should just go for it.

In a brief moment of clarity, he lets the words out before he can stop himself again.

A moment of silence passes.

Then two.

Then too many to count.

Nothing, Philip says nothing. The long silence stretches out for an eternity and Philip doesn’t even react, or so Lukas thinks.

Lukas is so wrapped up in his own nerves he didn’t feel Philip tense against him for a split second, then relaxing back before the blond boy could notice. Lukas is so oblivious he didn’t see the sheer panic on Philip’s face, illuminated by the moonlight. Love has always been a hard word for Philip, reserved solely for his mother, the only person he could depend on.

 _You can depend on Lukas too, you_ _know_ _,_ a thought wiggles into his brain and before he could shut it out and lock it back into the box he keeps it in, they all start spilling out one after another. Every connotation he has ever had with love, connected to Lukas, memories long gone all come flooding back at once.

Safety; _Lukas_ _enveloped_ _Philip’s frame in his arms, calming down the silent racking sobs. “He, he would’ve killed me if you_ _had_ _n’t_ _stopped_ _him. He would’ve…” a silent hush_ _came_ _from him. They_ _stood_ _there together in the middle of the woods for god_ _knows_ _how long, just holding each other. We_ _had known_ _each other for all but six weeks but somehow he_ _feels_ _the safest he’d ever_ _felt_ _since moving here._

Reassurance; _A_ _knock_ _came_ _from the front door, Gabe_ _was standing_ _near it so he could get to it before Philip. As the door_ _opened_ _it_ _revealed_ _Lukas, all dressed up in a black tuxedo. Philip_ _gasped_ _, he couldn’t_ _believe_ _he_ _was_ _actually here, he_ _was_ _so sure he would’ve chickened out by now. “_ _Are_ _you sure you_ _wan_ _na_ _do_ _this?” “I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life, now_ _come_ _one. We_ _’re gon_ _na_ _be_ _late to prom.” Lukas_ _grabbed_ _his hand and_ _gave_ _a small squeeze._

Redemption; _“You_ _know_ _, if my mom_ _were_ _alive, maybe I’d tell her about you, too.” The chilled New York wind bit at their exposed flesh. Lukas bent down and_ _kissed_ _Philip on the lips, a million in one things_ _rushed_ _through his head, at the front of his thoughts_ _was_ _‘we_ _’re_ _outside, what_ _is he doing_ _’._

Lukas decides to give it another go, what’s the worst that can happen? “Philip, I-”

“Lukas did you know that my mom has been doing drugs for as long as I can remember?” He sits up and turns to look at Lukas. “I would wake up and see spare needles next to me at the kitchen table while I was eating breakfast, alone. How she would get today’s supply of drugs was the first thing on her mind in the morning, not me. When she had friends over, she would go on and on about how much she loves doping up, but never have I ever seen her so happy when it comes to me,” At this point, Philip is crying and he couldn’t at Lukas anymore. He’s too embarrassed to look at this kid who thought he was perfect. “You see Lukas, she loved dope more than she loved me, her own kid-”

Suddenly it all makes sense, Philip didn’t say it back, not because he doesn’t love him, he didn’t say it back because he doesn’t know what it feels like to be loved. He’s never experienced loving someone and being loved in return. Lukas hopes that one day he can show him what it’s like, and he hopes that can start today. “Philip, I didn’t know...”

“Wait, I’m not done. My mom might not have loved me, but I still loved my mom. I would’ve done anything for her if she asked me to, I’m only like that for one other person.” Lukas looks at him with a puzzled expression until the pieces start to come together. “I didn’t realize what this was until now, I didn’t know that my feelings could run this deep for another person. And then I met you. I’ve had a few people in my life tell me they love me and I ran away every single time.” He looks up at Lukas with confidence and says, “I don’t want to run anymore.”

Lukas looks Philip in the eyes and everything he’s saying becomes crystal clear, “Wait, does that mean you-”

Philip grabs Lukas by the face and kisses him hard. When he pulls away he says, “Yes Lukas, I’m trying to tell you that I love you too.”

Tears are falling down both of their faces and Lukas assures Philip, “I will never hurt you like your mom did,” He pulls the beautiful, brunette boy in for a hug and continues, “I promise.”

“I believe you.”

Lukas stands up and holds his hand out for Philip, “Come on, let’s get you home before we both get sick.”

Philip grabs his boyfriend’s hand and stands up. When they first met, he never thought this would ever happen. Moving to a small, conservative town, he just knew he would never find love here, but like his mother always said, “Anything is possible.”

While they were on the back of Lukas’ bike, Philip looks up, the sky looked unbelievably clear, not a sight he got to see much back in the city. He closes his eyes and rests his head on Lukas’ back, imagining that all of the stars twinkled just for them, celebrating their love.


End file.
